Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dream a Freaky Dream

I don't know what I've been eating before bedtime, but over the last week or so, I have been dreaming the most bizarre dreams. In case I ever want to use these freaky ideas for a future blockbuster screenplay (don't steal my dreams!), I'm documenting them here.

Freaky Dream #1 - This one was as if I was watching my dream like a movie. I actually wasn't involved. A young hispanic boy, maybe ten years old, was spending time with his new step dad. In an effort to bond, the step dad brought the child to a rooftop soccer league where they were signed up to participate together. While the boy is preparing, the step dad spots a pet store across the street. He heads over there and decided to buy two teeny tiny white kittens for the boy.

At this point, I realize that the step dad has a weird metal robotic arm. Long and metal with lights and buttons and doohickies. As he's paying for the kittens, two cops enter the store and accuse the man of using his robotic arm to smash car windows and steal the vehicle contents. He pleads with the cops, explaining that he'd never do such a thing. While the arguments ensue and the cops whip out the handcuffs, the two tiny white kittens wander out of the store and into the busy highway! OH NOES!

The robotic-armed step dad sees the kittens and rushes out into the street to save their lives! The cars don't even realize what's going on, and as a car skids toward the kittens, the step dad uses his robotic arm to block the car and save them from certain death! WOOHOO!

Freaky Dream #2 - I'm hanging out at a convention with Rob. He calls me over to a Starbucks where we see Tom Selleck ordering coffee. Woah! I gawk at him while standing near the creams and sugars. He stumbles my way, and that's when I realize he's drunk. Reaching for sugar right near me, he aggressively shoulders me out of the way. What a jerk. With a new distaste for Tom Selleck, we wander off when I run into Bill Cosby. Not having anything eloquent to say, I point at his face and shout, "BILL COSBY!" He smiles and nods. And that's pretty much it.

Freaky Dream #3 - Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have played Plants vs. Zombies before bed. But I didn't think the slow, goofy, cartoon zombies would have any sort of effect on me. Except for the fact that I had zombie hunting dreams all night. And they weren't cute little zombies like in the video game. These were scary-ass Zombieland zombies, and I was assisting Woody Harrelson with the fight. (Let me mention that I have not seen that movie.)

So I had to spent time that I should have been peacefully sleeping shooting zombies and protecting my brain. And the worst part was that every time they started getting close, I ran out of bullets and couldn't figure out how to reload my gun. Shooting off-screen a la House of the Dead was not an option. I think I survived, but I was exhausted when I woke up.

Freaky Dream #4 - This was last night. I was back in college. I'm not quite sure what course it was, but it was final exam day, and my professor was Eddie Vedder. After the exam, we took a trolley through town. I sat in the front, and Eddie Vedder walked along side of the trolley, giving his final lecture. As he spoke, like a rock star guitar-player would toss his pick into the crowd, Eddie tossed a small, plastic protractor onto the trolley. I caught it. He let us know that to signify the end of the course, we'd be screen printing celebratory t-shirts. V-neck track shirts from American fave.