Wednesday, November 17, 2004

"Excuse me while I put my face on."

There’s this woman I’ve seen on the train. She’s probably in her late fifties, but looks pretty worn. I can’t stop watching her as she applies her makeup during the ride to Philly! First of all, it’s all like ancient Cover Girl makeup that looks like it was leftover from 1987. Secondly, they are the most vibrant colors that have ever been made for makeup. She covers the whole side of her face, not just her cheekbone, with hot pink blush….three or four coats of it. Then the whole area above her eye gets caked with this silver eye shadow. After that she takes this very dark brown eye shadow and spreads a line just above the crease of her eye. It basically looks like she has two sets of eyebrows, especially since she draws her real eyebrows on too. All followed by the hot pink lipstick, to match the blush I guess.

Is that mean? I can’t help it. I admit it, I’m a makeup queen. Clinique all the way. I’m sure it goes back to that whole self esteem thing, but I don’t go anywhere without at least a little makeup. And it’s strange because the other day this woman at work was talking to me about how this girl doesn’t normally wear makeup and she said. “Well, you don’t wear makeup or anything…” and I was thinking, are you blind? I mean, I guess that’s a good thing, right? I have mastered the art of making 20 minutes of makeup application look natural. Well, if you ever see me with loads of bright pink blush all over the sides of my face, where it looks like I smooshed my head between two hot irons, please do me the justice of telling me.

By the way, I just have to share this. I was driving around with my gas light on this Saturday morning, so I pulled into the first gas station I could find, which was on a major highway. There were people there, and I saw cars leaving, so I assumed everything was alright. I roll down my window (remember all you non Jersey people, we aren’t allowed to pump our own gas) and ask for a fill and the guy tells me that they are out of gas! Out of gas? What gas station runs out of gas? And it’s not like he said they were out of regular but they had super….they were out of gas. Maybe that happens a lot and I just don’t know, but I thought it was strange.

Anywho, that’s a long entry for today, so I’d better give my fingers a rest. But don't think I don't have lots more to talk about 'cause I do.


Mary said...

That reminds me of one of the teachers when I was in elementary school. Mrs. Bumpus. She wore SO MUCH blush it wasn't even funny. She had a really big, round head an a ruben-esque body. Very tall. She had lots of blush and silver eye shadow and fake eyebrows. But, she still only look 1/2 way done with her makeup. It was almost like if you are going to be that tacky just go ALL the way.

I knew this other lady too who always wore a line of eyeliner under her eyes but that's ALL. What's the point?? It looked like someone got her with a sharpie marker while she wasn't looking!

Go Kayak said...

OOOO, I like Clinique too!
This reminds me of my aunt. She still wears blue eye shadow like from back in the 70s. We call her eyes "garage doors" 'cause when she blinks it's like a garage door moving opening and closing.

Of course with all the outdoor activities we do, I am often without make-up or doing my hair. I had to laugh once at a women going through a rapid on a raft with three inches of make-up shouting, "Don't get me wet, don't get me wet!" So I squirted with the watergun I keep in my pfd (personal flotation device aka life vest) as I went by her raft. Too funny.

devon said...

pfd.... personal floatation device???

i need a break, i read it as "pdf" ... haha! damn graphic designers.

Melissa said...

That is so funny! I read it as pdf too! Sheesh!

Okay, I'm bad and all, but if I was going out in the woods or playing some sort of sport or doing something where I know I would get messy or sweaty, I would go sans makeup. But Rob laughs at me because if I'm going foodshopping or to the bank, I have to make sure I at least have a little on!

Go Kayak said...

HAHAHAH! pfd. yeah I've had to think twice about it alot since Acrobat was developed only I had it backwards at first. I was wearing a pfd long before a pdf was a gleam in Adobe's eye. That's why I bothered writing out "personal flotation device."

And if you really want to be in the know, don't call 'em "life vests." They don't save your life, only you can do that by knowing self-rescue skills. The "life vest" makes it easier for rescuers to find your body if you don't know what you are doing.