Monday, January 21, 2008

Calm my brain.

I've always been a little obsessive. Not to the point where anyone would know, since I keep it all inside. While I may look normal (which is a relative term), my mind is racing uncontrollably. And the horrible part is that I obsess over multiple things at once, so it’s like I never get a break.

As usual, my current obsessions are music and design. Etsy being the most obvious. I don't even know why I want to be a thriving etsy seller. It's not like I have time to make a ton of stuff or even go to the post office everyday. What the hell is my deal??? Why can't I just be happy with what is currently going on in my life? It's as if I'm always striving for some sort of "success."

And then there’s music. I’ve been bickering with Rob about my dream to be a singer. He scoffed at me when I mentioned that I would have tried out for American Idol if we weren’t in New Hampshire the week of tryouts. Yes, I realize American Idol is the epitome of what is wrong with the music industry today. Pop garbage. But that doesn’t stop me from turning off the radio in my car on the way home from work and belting out Elliott Smith’s “Oh Well, Okay” as if I’m auditioning. So sad.

Rob thinks my dreams of becoming a singer are ridiculous. Yeah, so do I. And yet I'm still so sure that I'll be famous one day. I'm just waiting to be discovered.

I've also been thinking about playing music. Now there’s one part of my old life that I seriously miss. That freaking $350 acoustic guitar that I bought over five years ago is sitting untouched in my basement. And I still don't know how to play a single chord. I need to find someone who can teach me. I also bought a USB keyboard a few months ago. Since I already know how to play the piano (mediocrely), I thought that'd be a great way to start writing some music. I think I touched it once. So all these things are traveling through my brain at ludicrous-speed.

You know what it is? I have too many passions. What do I do about that??

Current musical obsession: Elliott Smith
Current food obsession: Tostito's Spinach Dip
Current fashion obsession: wearing ties


Mary said...

I totally and completely understand where you are coming from! Ever since before Christmas, I was obsessed with sewing something. For Christmas I got a sewing machine and all kinds of other craft-related books and I'm DYING to use them all, but I just don't have the time! I just now got my office/studio in working order. I finished up a commission for the $$ I need to finishing equipping my room. But I'm dying to paint, sew, draw and design. AND coupled with my newest obsessions of finding the perfect chair and designing a tattoo for myself, I'm just on overload. I have a hard time concentrating on my 9-5 work when there are other things I'd rather be doing!

Lulu said...

I completely understand!

"It's not like I have time to make a ton of stuff or even go to the post office everyday. "

I don't know what it is the need to be good at everything and anything usually concerning writing, design, food, decor...etc.

I mean do I have to be a successful graphic designer, win TopDesign, and Project Runway? What is my deal already? It's like I need 100 hours a day. So I can work my 4 different careers and still make an amazing souffle for hubby!